Sometimes, when all our doubts, fears and insecurities wrap ourselves up, we always come up with the idea of “I wish I was somebody else.” More often than not, we think and believe that someone or rather, most people are better than us – when in reality, the fact is, most people are even more scared than us.
You spot a totally eye-catching girl sitting by herself at a party, casually sipping on a glass of red wine and think to yourself, “she looks so perfectly calm and confident.” But if you could read her mind, you’d see clouds of thoughts and you’d be amazed that she’s thinking “are people talking about why i’m sitting here alone?…
Why don’t guys find me attractive?… I don’t like my ankles, they look too skinny… I wish I was as intelligent as my best friend” etc etc.
We look at a young business entrepreneur and say “What else could he want for?” He stares at himself in the mirror and murmurs to himself, “I hate my big eyes… I wonder why my friends won’t talk to me… I hope mom and dad would still work things out” the list goes on.
Isn’t it funny? We look at other people, envy them for looking so outrageously perfect and wish we could trade places with them even for a day, while they look at us and think the exact same thing. We’re insecure of other people who themselves are insecure of us! We suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and lose hope in self improvement at times because we are enveloped in quiet desperation.
Sometimes, you’re told that you have an irritating habit like biting your finger nails, having a foul mouth, yet YOU, of all people, are the last to know.
I’ve got a friend who never stops talking and in most conversations, she’s the only one who seems interested in the things she has to say. So all of our other friends tend to avoid her whenever she’s around, yet she doesn’t notice how badly she is affecting the people in her environment.
One major key to self improvement is to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend! Find someone who you find it easy to open up to and ask questions like “Do you think i’m bad-mannered?”, “Do I always sound so argumentative?”, “Do I talk too loud?”, “Does my breath smell?”, “Do I ever bore you when were together?” By doing it this way, the other person will obviously know that you’re interested in finding out the truth about yourself and making yourself a better person.
Be prepared for what they have to say, listen to their comments and criticisms and don’t give answers like “Don’t exaggerate! I’m not that bad!” Open up your ears, mind and heart and in return, you may want to help your friend with constructive criticism about things bothering them that will also help them improve too.
In order to love others, you must love yourself! Because if you don’t, you won’t attract the kind of people into your life that can take you to the next level. Remember, you cannot give what you do not have!
Before telling other people some ways on how to improve themselves, let them see that you yourself are a representation and product of self improvement. Self improvement done the right way, makes us better people, we can then inspire others and the rest of the world will follow.
Stop thinking of yourself as second-rate! Forget the repetitive monkey chatter inside of your head with thoughts of “If only I was richer… if only I was thinner… if only, if only, if only!” and so on. Accepting your true self for what it is, is the first step to self improvement. You need to stop comparing yourself to others only to find out in the end that we’ve got 10 more reasons to envy them.
Listen, we all have our insecurities, nobody’s perfect! We all wish at times we had better things, better features, better bodies, more money, better relationships etc, but life doesn’t need to be perfect for people to be happy about themselves. Nobody, no matter what they say, leads a PERFECT life but if you’re always striving to better yourself every single day then i will guarantee you’ll be leading a happier, more fun existence than those who are sitting back and complaining.
Self improvement and loving yourself is not a matter of shouting out to the world that you’re perfect and the best. It’s the quiet virtue of acceptance and contentment when we begin to improve ourselves and see progress being made. Only then do we really start to feel contented and happy! : )