Be Alone But Never Lonely

alone2In today’s society which is so fast paced it makes your head spin, we’ve become so accustomed to filling the calmness of silence with electronic gadgets and other time wasting activities.

We find it so difficult to just embrace the tranquility of life and tend to look for any distraction we can find as a means of escaping those perceived feelings of boredom, idleness or even worse, loneliness.

The thing is, solitude does not have to be an alienating or lonesome experience. In fact, solitude and loneliness are completely separate entities.

The death of a loved one or the inability to find someone else who understands you, can leave you feeling isolated and lonely especially if the person you lost was very close to you.

The dictionary describes loneliness as “being without companions”, so it’s entirely natural to experience an emptiness or desolation while longing for that love or acceptance of another human being.

Loneliness in itself is therefore an emotive state that can be experienced whether or not a person is physically alone or not. You can have hundreds of people around you yet still feel lonely because ‘loneliness’ is a state of mind and doesn’t necessarily mean being the ‘only person in the world’.

It was Geoffrey F. Fisher who said, “In cities no one is quiet but many are lonely, in the country, people are quiet but few are lonely.”

So to compensate for that feeling of loneliness we look for anything and everything to distract us, to keep our mind occupied. For example, a lot of single men and women would rather spend a night with someone they have no genuine interest in than spend the night alone. They long for a way of killing time while they wait for that special person they are actually attracted to, to come along.

I know women who are in relationships with men they don’t even like or see a future with, just because in their minds being with ‘someone’ is better then being with ‘no one!’ I personally have never understood that way of thinking because in my mind, you only get one chance at life so why spend it with a person you don’t like or ‘put up with’ just so you don’t have to be on your own.

My philosophy is to embrace being single, alone, whatever you want to call it and give yourself some ‘me’ time to embrace life and have some fun without any ties or commitment to another person. I personally love being single and have spent a lot of my life in that situation doing so many other things that make me happy.

I embrace the quiet, peaceful tranquility of my own company and live life to the fullest of my powers.

So what is it about being alone that scares most of us so much?

To be honest, i have no idea!

No one needs to be worried or concerned by the unfamiliarity of silence because it can be an amazing thing. It teaches you how to truly listen, become aware of your surroundings and the outside world, to pay attention to what’s going on inside of you and helps you listen to your own thoughts and feelings in a way you never could in a noisy environment.

Only when we are truly alone, can we have the space and peace we need to think without being outwardly influenced by others. It therefore becomes much easier to make important decisions as well as to identify whatever feelings are culminating within us.

Get in touch with yourself now so that you can make conscious decisions rather than simply react to emotions. Get rid of relationships that aren’t fulfilling you 100%, switch off those gadgets even for just a few minutes and try something like meditation or yoga to reboot your mind.

Fully appreciate any time you have to yourself and let the peace and understanding you find, better equip you for the commotion of today’s crazy world.

Speak soon…